all that i will ever be in life, is what you guys want me to be. you guys set the boundary on me. and i dont carry a single regret in telling you '' i will prove you guys wrong''.

ellen pompeo...

because life doesnt get any easier. i'm starting to drink redbull again.

when myosin cross bridges are activated, they bind strongly with actin. the myosin head then tilts toward the arm of the bridge and drags actin towards the centre of the sacromere. this is called a power stroke.

hmm im thinking now, lush beaches, warm air. this is what i study.

Qing you're my sloan. thats the way its meant to be,

Things I loved about you:

The way you stared at me when I close my eyes, then you closed your eyes and I stared at you.
How perfectly your hand fit in mine.
How you seemed so strong on the outside, but I could tell you were so sweet on the inside.
The way you said I love you.
How during that first time we were alone, when we held hands and talked for hours and finally kissed after so long.
How you were so interested in my life and what I was doing.
How you remembered everything I said to you perfectly.
When you texted me randomly (as little as that may be).
When you told me I’m one of the most perfect girls you’ve ever met.
How you were too shy to hold my hand, in case I didn’t want you to.
Getting high together and making weird animal sounds.
The way you made me feel after we made out for an hour.
How you told me I looked great every time we saw each other - despite how untrue I thought it was.
How I sat on your lap when we went on the computer together, and your legs fell asleep but you didn’t care, as long as I was sitting that close to you.
How much you have passions for things.
Your laugh/smile.
How you always made fun of me - I secretly loved it What a loser you are, because I am too haha
How you admitted defeat and say sorry when I wouldn’t let you win a fight.
The way you made the butterflies in my stomach flutter every time I saw your smile. The stupid wrestling/pillow fights we have.

How much you made me love you.

today i tried. i will try harder than before. fuck em critics. thanks mum and dad for bringing me up, thank you qing for being part of this journey. it'll be good if i had the support from you guys but if i cant get it, your blessings will also do just fine.

today is the start of the next chapter in my book. its the start of independence, its the first for me. to be able to hold the decisions i have to make for the rest of my life. to be accountable and responsible for that. to give qing a good life. dad and mum, to give you both comfort, to give you both assurance that all you did to bring me up for the past 18years didnt go down the drain.

today i hold my own fate. and i will decide my destiny. my friends can judge me but i know i wasnt born to do mainstream. i'm not one that will study my ass off to get a degree, come out of army and sit in a 9-5 job earning a salary for the rest of my life.

there's just something about growing up, you'll realise that it isnt anywhere like what you imagine the world to be when you were alot younger. when i look into a kid's eye, i envy them. but its saddening as well because i think they too, will realise what a world this is what they grow up. who am i to say? obviously its purely my assumption. but i know one day i will snap, even the best breakfast in the world wont save me nor the feeling of being able to hold the power of trading 600milion a year (just met someone today) as well. id dig deeper, and maybe only to realise that my cuppa is just lying on the beach listening to cafe del mar and smoking pot all day long.

2 weeks,

woke up at 430am this morning, joined AQ, aaron and joel for a bike ride till 930am. we managed to cover 70km from woodlands- east coast park and back to woodlands. i've just found a faster way to qing's house, cycling is so much faster than the bus ride. took us only 1hour 15mins to get there. left school at 11am to qing's place to look after her cause she's down with food poisoning still. hope that crap gets outta her soon.

its gonna be a darn tough 2 weeks now leading into the exams. ive got psychology essay still yet to be completed plus revision stuff. cool yew. anw i'm saving up for something big with my mum. hopefully we'll get it by next january!.

gnna listen david guetta to start my day off tmr.

miss u alrdy qing.

i go nowhere warm

i dont care what you guys do, if your relationship is fucked then so be it. dont drag her into it,
she doesnt deserve to be the middle man and get all the sarcasm. im warning you. u hurt her, u get it.

psychology lecture tmr morning then back home for lunch with Qing. shall get an afternoon nap before heading back to sch for another night lesson. dont judge me, i love sleeping with my gf

I go nowhere high
Go nowhere warm
Until you’re by my side
Your hand in mine
And I’ve always known
You’re like a feather
You go where wind and fire melt together

edit.

dont mess with people like me. you dont know the place where i came from, what i've done, what i went through. what i'm prepared to do if need be. i will go to the ends of the world for this girl. you dont have the slightest idea of how sweet this is right now/ really, u dont know who you are dealing with. not guys like us, never with guys like us. we bring u down all the way.

welcome to da world. bjorn ruben wesley don lets be on standby.

more shit stuff happening. im disgusted by you people. maybe this world isnt the same
as what i grew up thinking it will be. a world build up on trust. fuck yeh whatever, dig this shit